The Advice shared by My Father That Rescued Me when I became a New Parent

"In my view I was merely trying to survive for twelve months."

One-time Made In Chelsea star Ryan Libbey anticipated to handle the demands of becoming a dad.

But the actual experience quickly became "very different" to what he'd imagined.

Severe health complications surrounding the birth resulted in his partner Louise hospitalised. Suddenly he was pushed into becoming her primary caregiver as well as looking after their baby boy Leo.

"I was doing every night time, every change… every walk. The duty of mother and father," Ryan explained.

Following 11 months he became exhausted. It was a chat with his own dad, on a bench in the park, that made him realise he couldn't do it alone.

The simple phrases "You are not in a healthy space. You must get some help. How can I assist you?" created an opening for Ryan to talk openly, seek support and regain his footing.

His experience is not uncommon, but rarely discussed. While people is now more comfortable addressing the pressure on moms and about PND, far less attention is paid about the challenges new fathers go through.

Asking for help is not weak to request support'

Ryan believes his difficulties are part of a wider failure to communicate amongst men, who continue to absorb negative notions of manhood.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the rock that just gets smashed and doesn't fall with each wave."

"It's not a show of failure to ask for help. I didn't do that fast enough," he clarifies.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist focusing on mental health pre and post childbirth, explains men often don't want to accept they're struggling.

They can feel they are "not the right person to be asking for help" - especially in preference to a new mother and infant - but she stresses their mental health is vitally important to the household.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad offered him the space to ask for a break - spending a few days abroad, outside of the domestic setting, to gain perspective.

He came to see he needed to make a change to consider his and his partner's feelings as well as the logistical chores of taking care of a new baby.

When he was honest with Louise, he discovered he'd failed to notice "what she needed" -reassuring touch and hearing her out.

Reparenting yourself'

That realisation has changed how Ryan perceives being a dad.

He's now composing Leo letters each week about his journey as a dad, which he aspires his son will read as he matures.

Ryan thinks these will help his son to better grasp the language of emotional life and make sense of his parenting choices.

The idea of "parenting yourself" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four.

As a child Stephen lacked reliable male parenting. Despite having an "amazing" relationship with his dad, long-standing emotional pain resulted in his father struggled to cope and was "present intermittently" of his life, complicating their relationship.

Stephen says repressing emotions caused him to make "bad decisions" when he was younger to modify how he felt, finding solace in substance use as escapism from the hurt.

"You gravitate to things that don't help," he explains. "They might briefly alter how you are feeling, but they will eventually make things worse."

Advice for Coping as a New Father

• Talk to someone - when you are overwhelmed, tell a family member, your spouse or a therapist how you're feeling. Doing so may to reduce the stress and make you feel less isolated.
• Keep up your interests - continue with the things that helped you to feel like yourself before becoming a parent. Examples include going for a run, socialising or gaming.
• Look after the body - eating well, staying active and if you can, resting, all play a role in how your mind is faring.
• Connect with other first-time fathers - sharing their journeys, the difficult parts, as well as the joys, can help to normalise how you're feeling.
• Know that asking for help is not failure - prioritising your own well-being is the best way you can look after your household.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen naturally struggled to accept the death, having had no contact with him for years.

As a dad now, Stephen's resolved not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his own son and instead give the stability and nurturing he missed out on.

When his son starts to have a meltdown, for example, they practise "releasing the emotion" together - managing the frustrations safely.

Each of Ryan and Stephen state they have become more balanced, healthier men because they confronted their pain, transformed how they communicate, and learned to control themselves for their children.

"I'm better… dealing with things and dealing with things," states Stephen.

"I put that down in a message to Leo the other week," Ryan adds. "I said, at times I feel like my job is to guide and direct you on life, but in reality, it's a dialogue. I'm learning just as much as you are in this journey."